OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
