mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
