look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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