i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
