my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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