Ambien. No doubt about it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
