question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
