we made out on top of his cat.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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