I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
