she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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