some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
