Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize