did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize