Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
