break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
