Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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