It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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