You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
