you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
