Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
