Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just cropdusted the office
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
