Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize