just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
