do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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