I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
