we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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