i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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