Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Randomize
