I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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