I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My pussy is not your playground.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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