the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
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Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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