I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
