Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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