First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
