Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
