Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
