Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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