how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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