office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
