Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
