somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
