Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
