dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
