who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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