I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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