there's paper in my vomit.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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