Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
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I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize