Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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