Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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