I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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