if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize