Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
