White coat. Heels.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
