he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
