He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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