i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I cockslap morals
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
