Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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