i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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