so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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