my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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