She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
