I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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