That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
