guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
