ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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