Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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