If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
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Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
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I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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