i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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